Rising like a phoenix

A few weeks ago I went to Geelong to see Rosie Waterland and Jamila Rizvi talk about the book they had written together called Broken Brains. 
 
Jamila was diagnosed with a brain tumour and during the numerous surgeries she had to remove parts of it (unfortunately not all of it) she acquired a brain injury. 
 
Rosie grew up with two parents with (undiagnosed, I think) mental health conditions that resulted in her and her sisters being taken from them by child protection services. She lives with PTSD, depression and anxiety from her traumatic childhood. 
 
The book was born out of a conversation they had when Jamila visited Rosie in hospital where she had been admitted for specialised mental health treatment. By this time Jamila had already been diagnosed with the tumour. She told Rosie that she had been given something like 10 lasagnas to help ease the load for her while she battled it. Rosie looked at her and said “I've never been given a lasagna” and they noticed the stark difference in how physical ailments are still treated by society, friends and family compared to mental health. And so the idea of the book was born.
 
I bought the book at the end of their discussion about it and they both graciously signed it.  
 
And now it sits in my room, staring at me. 
 
I can't bring myself to start reading it. 
 
I know that it will bring so much up for me about my own traumatic childhood and how I grew up. 
 
How it shaped me as a woman. 
 
How it lead to the choices I made up until my own mental health breakdown in 2016.
 
How like the goddess Kali, I burned everything to the ground in order to be able to start again fresh. 
 
To make my own choices now.
 
Truly my own, no longer ruled by expectations or trying to please others. 
 
Working out that embodiment, somatics, whatever you want to call it, was the game changer for me. 
 
That finally getting out of my head and into my body wholly and truly was the only way forward. 
 
That by connection to each and every part of my body was the way I would be able to heal. 
 
That by finding and cultivating a relationship and connection to my pussy was truly the only way I'd be able to remember who the fuck I really was under all the layers of bs I had accumulated over my life. 
 
The person I am now is light years from the woman I was in 2016.
 
I no longer fight against my body.
 
Instead I listen to her and follow her advice.
 
I move her when she needs movement and rest when that's what she craves.
 
I eat greens when I notice that she's not feeling the best. And I eat chocolate biscuits when that's what she wants too. 
 
I revel in the glory of this body I have, that allows me to run and dance and walk and hug and laugh and see and hear and be in this incredible world.  
 
I find the pleasure in all the places I can. 
 
In the fabrics I wear, the kinds of clothes I wear, the music I listen to, the coffee that I drink, the TV that I watch, the heater I turn on, the walks I take in nature, the plants I grow, the electric blanket I put on an hour before I go to bed, the bubble baths I take, using the good plates, the big earrings I wear, the colour of my hair, the hugs I give and take, the cuddles with our dog and having my nails done and so, so, so much more. 
 
If this is what you want, let me help you get there in YOUR way. 
 
I will lovingly hold your hand, guide you, push you and expand your view of what it means to be a woman in 2025. 
 
Because you were never meant to feel empty inside or lost or forgotten or underappreciated. 
 
You are meant to be radiant, joyful, alive, lit up and glorious.
 
Let me be your guide, your Radiance Coach and I promise I'll get you well and truly on your way there. 

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