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Happy new year! I hope that you had a wonderful Christmas and were able to relax and enjoy it.
If you're still on leave - well bragged! If you're back at work, see what you can do to make it an as pleasurable experience as possible! As is custom at the start of a new year, I've been working on my desires for the year. I've spoken about desires before but in case you've missed it, I'll share it again. Desires are different to goals. Even the most exciting goal can feel somewhat heavy and like a real slog to achieve. Desires on the other hand, make you feel all warm and gooey, they bring you pleasure just thinking about them. For instance, you might set a goal of being able to learn how to do a 50kg deadlift. As a desire, that goal could become “I desire to feel healthy and strong every day.” Or how about the goal of “I want to find a partner”? Turn it into a desire with “I desire to be in a loving, healthy, respectful relationship with hot juicy s*x where my partner worships me and I worship them”. See what I mean? I urge you to write yourself a Desire List for 2024. You could set up a space where you won't be disturbed, have a gorgeous notebook and your fav pen, light a candle, have a snack and a yummy drink and play some thinking music to help get you into a pleasure mindset. Or if you are stretched for time, you can type it into your notes section on your phone while you are waiting for a dr's appt. Make it work for you however it does, but just do it! If you can't do it all in one sitting, that's ok too. Just keep adding to it when something else pops up or when you've got another few mins to dedicate to it. If you have some trouble getting started on your list, try some small desires first to get the ball rolling:
Once you feel that the list is complete - and honestly it may never be because you will always have new desires popping up, especially once you start thinking about them in a more conscious way - put it somewhere where you can see it and remember it. You might like to set a reminder on your phone to look at it each week. You could jump on Canva and make yourself a digital vision board and put it on your phone as a screensaver (I've done this!) so you see it each time you open your phone. You could make a physical vision board or you could paint or draw one. Check in with your desires on a regular basis. Make sure you are putting your energy and time into the things that bring you the most joy. Because life is too short not to.
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I've started thinking about 2024. What do I want to do in my business, when and how? But I realised that before I look forward with eager bright eyes, I need to reflect on what I achieved in 2023. Because sometimes we forget to do that. To remember all the awesome things we did. Hell, sometimes we forget to celebrate them when we achieve them! Australians have a tendency to look down on those who are doing well - the old “tall poppy syndrome". We gotta knock them down a peg or two. I'm not entirely sure why its part of our culture but I reckon its something we need to get rid of. Celebrating our victories, and those of the people around us, make us happy. Instead of seeing someone else's achievement with jealously or anger or regret, why not see instead as a sign to you that it can be done? Someone else did it, therefore so can you! Try to see it a sign that its also coming for you. So my invitation to you is to brag about 2023! What have you done? What are you proud of? And here are some of mine:
I would LOVE to hear your brags!! Comment below and let me know. Because as good as bragging is, do you know what makes it even better? When it is witnessed by another person and celebrated!!! I wanna be that person for you! Go on, let me know now! Welcome to my first ever Christmas Gift Guide! I wanted to showcase the incredible women and non-binary people in business that I have had the pleasure of knowing and working with. These folks are forging their own paths, running amazing small businesses and providing gorgeous products and services. By supporting these businesses you are helping them provide for themselves and their families. You are helping them to become financially independent and have the freedom to do what it is that they are being called to do. And that's pretty amazing in my book!
You can click on each of the images below and it will take you to the business' website. I am a show pony - look no further than the pics below for proof! I show up as myself, wearing what make me feel good and try to have as much fun as I can. But I've had people tell me I need to turn it down, to not be so “out there”. For a long time, I tried to fit into this expectation, this mould of what I should be. Do you know what? Its completely EXHAUSTING. You always have to think quickly about what you're going to say if it fits that ideal, decide if that outfit is too loud and colourful, if you should go down the water slide with your kid. NO MORE! I'm going to wear colour in the sea of black that is Melbourne. I'm going to be loud, laugh even louder and bring joy to everything I do. I'll wear the bikini, shorts, tank top because I want to. I'm doing me and if you don't like it, the door is over there! I got to this place slowly, gradually peeling back the layers of expectation. Of my father. Of my employer. Of my friends. Of society in general. Qoya helped me to work out who I was and what the hell it was that I wanted. I connected to my body, got out of my endless chattering monkey brain and slowed down. I felt all the feelings in my body and moved with them. Honoured them for keeping me safe and slowly releasing them. Finding Regena Thomashauer and the School of Womanly Arts super charged my coming into myself. I connected with my most sacred feminine centre, my pussy and found even more ways of exploring pleasure in every day and every moment. I turned my glowing inner light up to 11. I am here and I am here to have fun! I am here to help you find your inner light, your radiance and turn it ON and UP! It's going to be a bumpy ride but I promise you will have fun along the way! Check out my Coaching page for ways to work with me to turn your light up! Did you sign up to my newsletter at a market or festival?
Did we have a chat about the magic of Qoya and you felt that you wanted to know more? Just in case you don't remember or came to my list a different way, here's my festival/market run down: "Qoya is a free dance embodiment class for women. Its designed to get you out of your head and into your body. To dance with your emotions rather than having them spinning around in your head on a loop. Its a safe space where women gather together to support each other with no judgement or shame. "There's no way to do Qoya wrong and the way you know you are doing it right is that it feels good to you. You get to move your body for no other reason than its fun and pleasurable to move it. "I run weekly classes in Thornbury, Gisborne and Sunbury and then monthly on Zoom. “It's 90 minutes of YOU TIME and when you sign up to my newsletter (as you have) you'll get a code to book into your first class for free, so you can try it and see if its for you!” So if you haven't been to a class yet, I'd love to know why not. Please hit reply to let me know as it will help me to see if there's anything I can do to make it easier for you to come! And if you'd just like to book in now but can't find the code, comment below or send me and email and I'll send it to you again. The code doesn't expire and you can use it for any of my Qoya classes. Come dance with me! We are bombarded every day with the hundreds of ways that we are ‘wrong’. Billion dollar industries exist to make sure we don't forget it and buy their crap to ‘fix it’.
Too loud Too quiet Too big Too small Too old Too young Too hairy Too emotional Too hurt Too immature Too serious Too aggressive Too feminist Too fucking everything But what if there's actually nothing wrong with you at all? Seriously? Like nothing. That how you show up in the world is exactly right. It can be really hard to feel right in a world that likes to point out your ‘flaws’. I'm here to tell you that you ARE right. And I'm also here to encourage you to find yourself right. To start to approve of yourself and all that you do. Sure you'll fuck up, but then we all do. Stuff happens that we might have been able to avoid and that we might have wished we could. But if you had avoided it, what else might you have missed out on? If I hadn't had my breakdown, I doubt I would be here writing this email to you right now. I'd still be a lawyer wondering why I was miserable doing my ‘dream job’. To approve of all that you have done and what you want to do next takes some effort. A simple exercise that you can start with is to write down all the phrases that come into your mind when you disapprove of yourself. Then go back over your list and change it to an approving phrase instead. For instance, I used to be very critical of myself when I did simple mistakes in a crossword. So I changed the “you're an idiot” phrase to “its just a mistake”. Taking the time to do this exercise will dramatically improve your self talk and your own thoughts and feelings about you. Because you aren't wrong and you never have been. I'd love to hear how you go with it, comment below to let me know. Last night I was again reminded of the power of women supporting each other.
I held a class in Thornbury and one of the women shared her story of struggle, collapse and how she was trying to give herself the time and space to work out what was next. She spoke of the expectations she placed on herself that she “should” know what she was going to do next. That when she was resting and recuperating from such a life changing event that she felt as though she was wasting time and “should” be doing something productive. Can you relate? I certainly can. As some of you know, I used to work as a lawyer. I had a mental breakdown that took me years to recover from. It was during that recovery period that I found Qoya. Qoya helped me to relax into my body. It showed me how to move with my emotions instead of having them do endless cycles in my head. It reminded me that I have incredible inner strength and power and how to access it again. And it showed me how powerful it is when women gather together. Supporting each other without judgement or shame. Just holding the space and allowing to come out what needs to. It has been one of my greatest achievements with this business creating safe spaces for women. Of course, I don't do it alone. Each of the women who attend my classes plays her integral part of space holding and demonstrating vulnerability. Women supporting women is, and has always been, extremely powerful. Because when your light shines, it does not diminish mine. You are lighting the way for me and all the other women to follow you. To show us what can be done. So shine on Sister! Be a good girl.
Don't cry. What's wrong with you? Why are you always angry? Aren't you over that yet? As women, we get all sorts of messages from when we are tiny little girls about how we are meant to behave. Or what not to do. To be a good girl. To not show our true feelings because it'll upset someone else. But what happens to us when we suppress those feelings? When we don't have a healthy way of dealing with them? When all we do is push them down further every time they dare to bubble up? We get women who are disconnected from themselves. Who don't know what they are feeling. Who don't know what they want because they've never been asked or even thought to ask themselves. Who keep thinking and thinking and thinking but never really deal with the underlying causes. Women are allowed to feel and be the entire range of the 88 keys of a piano. They DO NOT need to stay within the 5 or so “acceptable” keys. You are allowed, hell, you NEED to, feel the entire range of your emotions. The rage, the fear, the grief, the sadness, the p*ssed offness, the joy, the happiness, the turn on, your radiance. But how do we do that? As part of my coaching training, I have been learning about ways to help you feel into those emotions in a safe controlled way. It's called Swamping. Here is a Spotify playlist for you to use to move through the Swamping practice. Swamping is a practice where you first tap into all the shitty heavy feelings you have going on - you might like to start by focusing in on a particular event, for instance an interaction you had with a work colleague or at Centrelink or with your partner or your kids. Get into that Rage and then press play on your playlist and start moving with it. Punch a pillow, jump up and down, throw a tantrum like a 2 yo, scream. Do what ever it is that you need to to move that angry energy through your body. Then you move into Grief. Quite often our rage is disguised as grief. Feel that sadness in your body and move with it in the way your body needs to move with it. Cry if you want to. Wail if you can. Finally, you move into Turn On. Into bringing yourself back to yourself. Back to your inner light, your inner radiance. Gently caress your body, your face. Move your hips. Find the most pleasurable way to move your body right now. You are a Goddess in her most radiant power. Feel that. BE THAT. Have a go at Swamping and let me know how you go. If you have any questions about Swamping, please feel free to ask away. I love the warmer weather. I'm not a huge fan of shoes at home and once it starts to warm up, I'm barefoot outside as much as possible. Feeling into the ground, getting dirty and being closer to nature.
As I age, I am embracing this side of myself, the one that is supremely happy being dirty, not wearing much and relishing the sunshine. The inner child who just wants to make mud pies or mud angels or stomp her feet in puddles. The more I allow myself to play, to give myself permission to follow my intuition, the more I enjoy each and every day. I remind myself that we are only on this earth for a short time. I can find joy in each and everything I do as long as I remember to look for it. A nice simple way of doing this is to change your phrasing around tasks that you don't particularly enjoy. For instance, instead of “I have to do the dishes” try using “I get to… ”. You get to do the dishes because you have a home, a kitchen and food in the fridge. “I have to do my tax” becomes “I get to do my tax” because I receive an income which allows me to live in comfort. “I have to take the kids to soccer" becomes “I get to take the kids to soccer” because they enjoy it and I have the money for them to be able to play sport. So what do you “get to” do today? I'd love to hear how you've been able to rephrase one of your less than desirable tasks, comment below to let me know. When was the last time you prioritised your pleasure over what is expected of you? When you listened to what it was that YOU wanted rather than someone else's ideas? When you picked YOU over everyone else?
So many women are people pleasers. We feel that we need to care for everyone else and make sure that they are happy regardless of what we want or how we feel. We don't honour our "NO" because the other person might get upset or be unhappy with that response. And then sadly, if we do honour our “NO” it's often not respected as a whole answer. You never have to justify or explain your reason to someone for saying “NO”. “NO” is and has always been a whole answer. Standing for your boundaries, standing for what it is that you want, being in your power has historically been frowned on for women. We've come a long way from being regarded as the property of our fathers and then the property of our husbands. BUT there still is a lot of push back on women taking their own power and agency over their own lives and bodies. It seems as though no matter what we do, someone will have something to say about it. I am working towards, and am helping women to demand it, of a world where we can do what makes us happy without comment. Keep your own last name. Change your last name. Not getting married. Getting married. Not having kids. Having kids. Returning to work after having kids. Not returning to work after having kids. Having multiple lovers. Being celibate. Drinking. Not drinking. Travelling the world solo. Doing yoga eight times a week. Not exercising. Taking pole dancing classes. Wearing a bra. Not wearing a bra. Leaving your body hair where it is. Removing your body hair. Having your nails done. Having a boob job. Sunbathing nude. Dancing in the moonlight howling at the moon. My dream is that as you read this post you start to see ways how you can honour what it is that YOU want. Because life is far too damn short to care about what other people think about what you are doing! |
AuthorLiz Reichard is a Radiance Coach and Qoya teacher. Her mission is to help as many women as possible remember the power of their own bodies through Radiance Coaching & Qoya classes. Archives
August 2025
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