I just finished a one-on-one session with a brand new client, and I couldn’t wait to jump on here and share something I gave her as homework. It's a little experiment that could change the way you think about managing pain — and it's for any of my babes out there who are experiencing discomfort of any kind.

Let’s talk about pleasure, pain, and a new way forward.

When I first read "Pussy: A Reclamation" by Regena Thomashauer, one thing that really stood out was the way she talked about managing menstrual cramps. Instead of reaching for painkillers or just suffering through it, she experimented with using orgasm as her medicine.

She discovered that if she orgasmed every four hours, she could stay ahead of the pain. No cramps, no agony — just the flow of her body, supported by pleasure.

Pretty amazing, right?

So here’s the invitation
If you're experiencing pain — and it doesn’t have to be menstrual pain, it can be any pain at all — why not try this for yourself?

Here’s how to run your own pleasure experiment:

• Have an orgasm.
• Pause and tune in. Notice how you feel immediately afterwards. Has the pain changed? Has it lessened? Has it disappeared altogether?
• Stay curious. Rather than constantly checking in on your pain, just notice naturally when (or if) it returns. How much time passes?
• Repeat.
• When the pain returns, orgasm again. And see what happens.

The idea is to play with it — try managing your pain with pleasure for one whole day and see what your body tells you.

But wait — there's science behind this!
This isn’t just wishful thinking or some fluffy idea. When you orgasm, your body releases oxytocin (aka the "love hormone") along with a beautiful rush of endorphins — both of which are known to naturally relieve pain.

It’s the body’s own built-in pharmacy, and it’s completely free, accessible, and (let's be honest) a whole lot more enjoyable than popping pills.

Why this matters
Pain management so often feels cold, clinical, and disconnected from our bodies.
But what if — just what if — there’s a more delicious, pleasure-filled way to care for ourselves?

So go have a play. Be curious. Let your body guide you.
And if it works for you — please share it. Tell your sisters, your friends, your group chat.

Let’s hope that there’s a more delicious, pleasure filled way to care for our bodies and ease pain.

I'd love to hear how your experiment goes. Message me, comment, share — let's spread this magic far and wide.

My mum used to get these horrific migraines—the kind that meant locking herself in a dark bedroom for days, unable to move, just waiting for them to pass.

She tried everything to work out her triggers. She cut things out, one by one, trying to gain some kind of control. No coffee. No chocolate. No tomatoes. But nothing changed.

Until she went through menopause… and the migraines disappeared.

I asked her recently if she’d ever considered that they might’ve been linked to her cycle. Her response made me a little sad.

She said, “I didn’t know very much about it. You know so much more about how your body works than I did… and I didn’t even really want to know anymore.”

That moment really stayed with me.

Because here I am now, at 45, absolutely in perimenopause and also reacquainting myself with my cycle after six years of not bleeding at all.

After my breakdown, when my depression was at rock bottom, my psychiatrist suggested I skip my period. The emotional crash I’d experience during my cycle made things even worse, and he said, “You don’t have to go through that.”

So I didn’t.

I stayed on the pill, skipping my bleed for years. Then they changed the pill on me—three times. The last one was just… gone. I went to fill a script and they told me, “That one’s been discontinued since June.” No one told me.

I was due to see my doctor in a few weeks, and I thought, You know what? Let’s just stop and see what happens.

What happened was nothing. For four months. One bleed, and then silence. And now? I’m cycling again. Slowly, irregularly, but she’s moving.

And this time, I’m paying attention.

I’m tracking. Not in a hyper-controlling way, but in a curious way. I’m noticing. I'm listening. I’m more aware of my energy, my emotions, how I respond to things. I'm using what I learn from my body to plan my work, my rest, my social life.

It’s a complete shift from how I used to live.

Back then, I lived entirely in my head. In my masculine, logical, lawyer brain. Everything was schedules and strategy and pushing through. I didn’t want to hear what my body was trying to say.

Now I live in a completely different space. I’m in my feminine. In my body. In the rhythm and mess and beauty of what it means to be cyclical. I don’t see her shifts as problems anymore. I see them as signals.

I trust her.

And this is the work I support women in every day. Rebuilding that relationship with their bodies. Tuning back in. Reclaiming that deep knowing that so many of us were never taught.

Because your body is always speaking to you. The question is: are you listening?

If this resonates and you're ready to explore what it might be like to come back into connection with your body, I offer 1:1 coaching, Qoya free-dance classes and monthly women’s circles. You don’t have to do this alone.