A Love Letter to My First Love: Qoya

If you’ve been following me for a while, you may already know parts of this story. But today, I want to share it with you in full.

It was January 2019. I was about six months post-breakdown—one that left me unable to work as a lawyer. The kind of breakdown where getting out of bed feels impossible and every step forward is painfully slow. I was doing the work, though. I had a psychiatrist to figure out my meds, a GP, and a psychologist. I was getting better… but, fuck, it was slow.

Around that time, I started doing pole dancing classes. If you’ve ever done pole, you’ll know this isn’t “stripper stuff.” It’s strength, power, and athleticism. And yes, you’ll get bruised, yes, your body will ache—but oh, my god, you feel incredible. You feel powerful.

Through those classes, I heard about a retreat in Macedon. It sounded amazing—yoga, meditation, breathwork, and something I’d never heard of before: Qoya. I had no idea what it was, but I decided to go anyway. What did I have to lose?

The day of the retreat was stunning. We started with yoga, which was grounding, and breathwork, which was transformative. After lunch, it was time for the Qoya class.

We gathered in a circle—about 25 to 35 women—around a beautiful altar with oracle cards, rose petals, and crystals. Nicola, the teacher, began to introduce the class.

She said:

• “There are no levels in Qoya.” Thank fuck for that.
  
• “There’s no way to do it wrong.” Sweet. I can get behind that.
  
• “It’s all about finding the ways to move your body that feel good.” Now I was intrigued.
  

The class started with grounding movements—simple, gentle ways to connect with your breath and body. We stood with our feet planted, lifting our arms as we inhaled, circling them back down as we exhaled. It was like a moving meditation, and I felt myself sinking into my body for the first time in what felt like forever.

Next, we moved through body parts, circling each one to release tension. We started with the neck, letting our heads roll slowly. Then shoulders, arms, and even the heart. (How do you circle your heart? Imagine moving around the equator of your chest, letting it lead.) And then… the hips. Oh, those stiff hips. I moved, circled, and felt them begin to loosen.

When the music changed to a fun pop song, we shifted into heart-opening movements. We were encouraged to imagine our hearts as speakers, letting the music pour out in all directions. We danced with abandon, giggling as we doubled the tempo and let our bodies lead.

And then came the magic: the shadow work.

Nicola invited us to acknowledge the parts of ourselves we usually avoid—the pain, the grief, the anger—and dance with them. No choreography, no thinking. Just moving how our bodies needed to move. It was raw and cathartic. I cried as I danced, feeling emotions rise to the surface and release.

After that, we moved into shaking. With a fast, drum-heavy beat, we shook each part of our bodies—head, shoulders, arms, hips, legs—letting go of everything we’d been holding onto. We imagined giving it all back to the earth, letting Pachamama take it and transform it into something beautiful.

To bring us back together as a group, we did a fun, silly choreographed dance. Some of us followed along; others made up our own moves. It was a lighthearted way to reconnect after the deep individual work we’d done.

We finished with a joyful, playful song—an invitation to dance with the light. We spun, jumped, twirled, and moved however felt good. Like kids on a playground or friends on the best nightclub dance floor. It didn’t matter what it looked like; it just mattered that it felt amazing.

By the end of the class, I felt like a new person.

Qoya taught me that when you move your body, the endless spinning thoughts in your head quiet down. You start to feel your power, your strength, and your magic. And then you realise something incredible: your body is so much more than what she looks like. You start to appreciate her for what she does for you.

This is why Qoya became my first love, the foundation of the work I do, and the thing I always come back to.

So, it’s with a heavy heart that I’m letting go of in-person Qoya classes for now. I’ve poured so much into them, but it’s just not the right season.

But this isn’t goodbye. Qoya isn’t going anywhere. I’ll still be offering it twice a month online:
✨ First Saturday of the month at 9 AM
✨ Third Wednesday of the month at 7 PM

And Qoya will always be a part of my programs, my coaching, and my work. Because until you can feel into your body and appreciate her—every part of her, including the parts we’re taught to ignore—things won’t change.

But when you do? When you connect with her, move with her, and celebrate her? Everything shifts.

If you’ve never tried Qoya before, I’d love for you to join me. Come and feel the magic for yourself.